The sports nutrition industry has got us cornered. They’ve pinned us down on the grass at the roadside and are rifling through our wallets. We ride so much we’re too exhausted to resist.
What’s that?” they say, “had enough of chia seed mocha energy gloop?…try chocolate quake…or how about avocado and pumpkin smash…here, look, espresso and Guatemalan vanilla bean…”
It’s the dumbification of sports nutrition.
And we lap it up.
And we get kind of giddy about it. We show off about the new flavours and versions we’ve found. We ride spectacular roads through wondrous countryside and talk about the flavour of our gels.
It’s like a fetish.
“Yeah…so this beetroot and mung bean high protein drink is amazing. You don’t even have to drink it. You smear it across your chamois and your body just sucks it in. It’s super-efficient. Taylor Phinney uses it, I heard…”
An advert for a sports nutrition company on my cycling podcast of choice during the Tour de France boasted that: “Independent tests show that 10% of sports nutrition products would get a professional rider banned.”
I’m quite slow.
The testers never come anywhere near me.
I need the 10%.