I would never throw urine at Chris Froome.
It feels like I shouldn’t even need to write this, so averse am I to throwing urine at anyone, let alone a British multi-Grand Tour winner, but it’s become quite popular.
Mainly in France, and during le Tour.
I’m just going to give some clarity on my position.
Set out my stall as a man who keeps his urine to himself.
When the Tour de France came to Yorkshire back in 2014 Chris Froome rode past as I watched on from the roadside, and was but a few feet away from me. At the time, I recall needing a wee.
And yet, despite having a full bladder’s worth of ammo, it wasn’t until much later – 2016, if I remember rightly, when I saw it happen at Le Tour – that it occurred to me I could have sloshed a cup of the good stuff in his direction.
It wouldn’t have inconvenienced me in the slightest.
But I didn’t.
Even presented with perfect conditions, I didn’t consider it. It never crossed my mind. And that’s a nice feeling; to know that when it came to the crunch my standards of behaviour remained not only high, but scrupulously hygienic.
I would even go so far as to say that were I presented, on that Yorkshire day, with a cup of someone else’s urine – decanted for me, thoughtfully, by a fellow cycling fan – with the words “’ere you go Ragtime…Froomey’ll be along in a minute, knock yerself out pal,” I’d have declined.
“No, I’m good thanks,” I’d say, “it’s all yours.”
And I’d have watched on, serenely, as that golden liquid arced through the air and splashed across the Rapha clad torso of Chris Froome.
Safe in the knowledge that I’d played no part in it.
(Images: Froome via Jaguar MENA @ Flickr cc/Urine via pixabay.com)